It taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Rather, to see life from a higher perspective. Isn’t it tempting to pick at the nitty gritty details of life? To focus on all those tiny little, trivial, annoying, petty moments and words that really hold no significance? Oh, how the mind loves to focus on everything which does not matter. The insecurity triggers, the facial expression of someone, the tone of their voice, or maybe if you look the way you should, or if your house is in perfect order, or if you answered all your emails exactly the way you’d like to. All of those things really do occupy our minds and take up our thoughts. But they don’t have to. Meditation really is mostly a practice of reconnecting to what really matters. It is a way of shedding the more minute details of life under the firm understanding that your state of consciousness is what matters most. The rest is secondary. Ultimately, if we are imbalanced within, no matter what we show up for, the way we do that task or the way we communicate will also be imbalanced. Creating space for reconnecting to what does matter allows you to transfer that to every other aspect of your life.
It taught me empathy - I know how messed up I can feel before I get into a meditation session. I know how many internal challenges I face on a daily basis. It makes me realise that perhaps everyone faces the same things, but not everyone has this practice. Maybe everyone feels the same things, but no one talks about it. Meditation, or rather the acknowledgement of how I feel on a daily basis - without judgement or expectation - made me realise that we are all fighting our own battles. You never, ever, ever know what someone may be going through. Most of us aren’t vocal about how we feel inside. So, before we jump to conclusions, judge someone, get offended or attempt to interpret someone’s words - make sure that the very first intention that we have towards anyone (starting with ourselves), is empathy. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t overthink anyone’s words or actions. Meditation made me realise that everyone has a bad day sometimes. Anyone can be snappish and rude at times. That doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, it just means that they’re going through a rough time inside. Let some things slide, very few people can always keep things together. Let this be a reminder to us all that each on of us is just trying our best. Nothing more, nothing less.
I stopped thinking that there isn’t enough time - there is always time. For everything. Maybe there isn’t enough time for things to be exactly as we expect them to be, but there is definitely always time. Especially, there is always time for the things are important to you. In fact, if we slow down a little and simply do those things which need to be done without stressing or thinking if this is the right thing to do, suddenly, you realise that you are actually accomplishing everything that needs to be done because you aren’t wasting any time on decision-making. Decision-making can take up an enormous amount of time and energy. Simply accepting that something needs to be done allows you to shed that burden.
It taught me the simple power of just showing up; even when you think you can’t, just do. Just do what you can. You will surprise yourself. Once I began showing up for meditation on a daily basis with absolutely no excuses, I started doing the same thing in other aspects of my life. I committed to a daily music practice. I started writing daily, even if I didn’t yet know what I was writing about. I simply decided that this is something I need to do everyday, or at least try to do everyday. I stopped canceling those aspects of my life which might seem uncomfortable for me. I also began facing moments in my life that are unpleasant to me - a phone call, a tedious chore, or even just accepting how I feel at a given time. Keep showing up. Everyday, no matter what. It doesn’t have to be 30 min or even 20 min. Sometimes it’s just ten minutes. Five. But it’s still better than nothing. It still counts. It’s still motion. Give yourself the space to just show up everyday for what drives you forward. Never discourage yourself. If you don’t believe in you (and boy, do I know how that feels), please know that I truly, profoundly, unwaveringly and very deeply believe in you. Just show up and see what happens. There is magic in this. Even Woody Allen wrote, “90% of success is showing up”. If anyone knows anything about success….surely it must be….Woody Allen?
I began to focus more on feeling rather than form, or thought - what clothes should I wear ? Who should I work with? What should I aspire to? Where should I go, who should I speak to, what should I focus on? All of these questions can be answered using sheer rationality or they can be answered but allowing oneself to focus on what you feel; the jeans I feel best in are the ones that look best because they’re in alignment with what I feel. The things I crave deep down to say are the ones that must be said because they come from the deepest part of me. I don’t use pros and cons as a way to make decision. I just know when it feels right. I stop thinking, as of late. I just feel. I try to only use thought as a means to an end rather than an end in itself.
It taught me to let go. Life is not perfect. It might never be. There are perfect moments and deeply imperfect ones. There are perfect thoughts and deeply disturbing ones. Meditation made me realise that they are all beautifully intertwined. Making time to sit in silence and simply do something you love requires a lot of letting go. There will always be something that’s unfinished, there are always more “pressing” things to do. Sometimes, life is just a complete mess. Committing yourself to certain practices daily, regardless of the circumstances, is an incredibly powerful way of pushing through the unsteadiness of life. We do not live in some kind of perfectly organised box, where everything always goes according to schedule and where we always live up to our expectations (PS drop the expectations). Life is a very messy process and having something to anchor you along the way is precious. Committing to something no matter what makes you realise that maybe everything isn’t quite as dramatic as it appears to be. And in truth, there is no real excuse to miss out on what is important to you. Letting go gives you strength and teaches focus. Letting go teaches you mercy - on yourself and on others. Letting go means being able to move. Stagnation involves trying to keep everything in the palm of your hand. Drop it.
It made me realise that we all need a little bit of help sometimes; it can be so tempting to say that you’re always strong enough alone; but boy, that isn’t so. I mostly use guided meditations (my go to are Melissa Wood Health and Marisa Peer) and the more I show up to them, the more I realise that the input of other people can be so fundamentally life-changing in your journey. The days when my resistance gets the best of me, or when I don’t have time to meditate (or perhaps, when I don’t make time), are the days when I understand how deeply I need the help of these people who are guiding me to a deeper connection with my own consciousness. Alone, we can all be a mess, but when we overcome the ego and acknowledge that we too, need something to lean on, beautiful things happen. This, in turn, allowed me to let others help me in other areas of my life. I started trusting that maybe, someone else knows a little better. Maybe, it’s ok to ask for help. Maybe, it’s not weakness, but rather communication. I became more confident in my producer, I became more yielding to my family, I started actually showing up when people invited me instead of feeling like I should be working or doing something productive. In short, I started letting people in. Whereas, before, I was so deeply uncomfortable with myself that letting anyone in was impossible. I didn’t want to let anyone see me for what I am. I was terrified of being judged for my imperfections.
My relationships with others improved; this one flows from the previous one; meditation helped me open up to myself. Opening up to myself helped me open up to others. And that made me realise that when you communicate what you feel, you start to realise how many people have that experience in common. How many other people might feel exactly as you do. Maybe someone else missed their beloved meditation/workout that morning. Maybe someone else feels insecure, or heartbroken, or is just in a shitty mood. Meditation makes everyone relatable and it makes you relatable to everyone. Because first and foremost, it open up communication with yourself.
I became less reactive to people; if there’s anything that can put you in a shitty mood, it’s the way someone treats you, the way they talk to you, the way they don’t talk to you. The more I showed up on my mat to meditate, the more I realised that whatever they were experiencing is their experience. I don’t have to absorb it. And I do have the power to shift my own vibe. I don’t need to accept or pay attention to everything that comes my way. Reacting to a bad vibe makes you partake in it. Shedding it aside, no matter how tempting it is to engage, is empowering. Reacting and responding are two different things. In the former, you aren’t in control of the situation. In the latter, you are taking a conscious position on the circumstances. Some things require a response. But nothing requires a reaction.
It taught me the power of silence. SILENCE. Staying silent is powerful. Listening to the silence is powerful. Not always saying what you feel, and instead going inwards is powerful as hell. Not everyone needs to know what you’re feeling because not everyone will understand. Meditation taught me to be my own best friend. To write out those thoughts on paper rather than to say it to someone who might misinterpret what I mean. If I feel awful, I don’t need to say that to a single soul - I can just go on my mat, sit with myself for a few minutes, and then feel a lot better. Not every battle must be fought, not every comment answered. Sometimes, it’s nice to keep some things to yourself. It makes them sacred. Save some goals for you. Save some beautiful moments for you. Don’t let anyone else ruin them. They may love you deeply, but they may not understand. That’s ok. Don’t always let people in on the most sacred, vulnerable, meaningful aspects of your life. Some people, even the closest ones, might completely ruin the sacredness of what you are experiencing. Don’t let them. Remain silent. Do not engage in everything. Don’t share everything. Take it to your mat. Take it to your journal. Breathe into it, even if it paralyses you. Remaining silent made me so much more powerful. It taught me that silence can cure a lot of woes. If you just let it all move through you. You don’t owe anyone any explanation. And you never have to reveal what you are not ready or willing to share. Listen to the silence and let it soothe you.
Comentários